When welcoming a new bride into the family, especially in the context of an arranged marriage, it’s crucial to ensure she feels like a cherished family member rather than a temporary guest. Here are some things to avoid to help her integrate seamlessly into her new home, whether you’re in Bangladesh or abroad.

Avoid Overly Formal Treatment
Pitfall: Treating the bride with excessive formality can make her feel like an outsider.
Solution: Engage with her casually and warmly. Include her in everyday activities and conversations. Share family jokes, stories, and traditions to make her feel part of the family fabric.

Avoid Excluding Her from Decisions
Pitfall: Making important family decisions without her input can make her feel undervalued.
Solution: Involve her in family discussions and decisions, whether it's about household chores, planning a vacation, or budgeting. Her opinions and ideas should be considered just as important as any other family member's.

Avoid Isolating Her from Household Responsibilities
Pitfall: Shielding her from household responsibilities under the guise of treating her as a guest can backfire, making her feel like she doesn’t belong.
Solution: Gradually involve her in daily chores and responsibilities. This not only helps her learn the household dynamics but also fosters a sense of belonging and contribution.

Avoid Criticizing or Comparing Her
Pitfall: Comparing her to other family members or openly criticizing her actions can make her feel inadequate and out of place.
Solution: Offer constructive feedback gently and privately, focusing on positive reinforcement. Celebrate her strengths and achievements to build her confidence and sense of belonging.

Avoid Neglecting Her Emotional Needs
Pitfall: Failing to acknowledge and address her emotional needs can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
Solution: Check in with her regularly about how she’s feeling and coping with the new environment. Offer support and empathy, and encourage her to share her thoughts and concerns openly.

Avoid Keeping Her Out of Family Traditions
Pitfall: Not including her in family traditions and rituals can make her feel like an outsider.
Solution: Make sure to involve her in all family traditions, celebrations, and rituals. Explain the significance behind these practices to help her understand and appreciate them.

Avoid Ignoring Her Background and Preferences
Pitfall: Disregarding her background, preferences, and personal habits can make her feel unwelcome.
Solution: Show respect for her background and integrate her preferences into family life. Whether it’s cooking her favorite dish or respecting her personal routines, these gestures show that you value her individuality.

Avoid Overloading Her with Expectations
Pitfall: Placing too many expectations and responsibilities on her too soon can be overwhelming.
Solution: Allow her time to adjust at her own pace. Gradually introduce her to the family’s expectations and provide support as she learns and adapts.

Avoid Overemphasizing Cultural or Regional Differences
Pitfall: Highlighting cultural or regional differences excessively can create a sense of division.
Solution: Focus on commonalities and shared values. Celebrate both her cultural background and the family’s traditions, creating a harmonious blend that enriches everyone’s experience.

Avoid Keeping Her Away from Her Own Family and Friends
Pitfall: Discouraging contact with her own family and friends can lead to feelings of isolation and homesickness.
Solution: Encourage her to maintain strong ties with her family and friends. Regular communication with her support network can help her feel more secure and supported in her new environment.

Creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for a new bride is about balancing respect, inclusion, and empathy. By avoiding these common pitfalls and fostering a sense of belonging, you can help her feel like a true member of the family. Remember, the goal is to build a strong, supportive, and loving family unit where everyone feels valued and at home.

I would like to thank Bolo Kobul for helping me meet my then future prospect and now wife. Although ours was a traditional marriage arranged by the families within six months of us meeting, we feel like we have known each other for a longer time. I'd recommend the services to people out there ready to tie the knot and looking to meet their future partners.

They say marriages are made in heaven and I couldn't agree more. But how do you meet your soulmate? Life is not a Karan Johar movie (much to my dismay) that you will accidentally bump into the love of your life and sparks will fly off immediately. Life is life, complicated and uncertain. Despite attending the same University, my husband and I, we never met. I didn't notice him when he was up on stage singing away at an Uni event. He didn't notice me while I sat laughing with my friends in the canteen. Two years, same place but we never bumped into each other in the corridor with books flying in the air as time slowed down and violins played. But does that mean our love story is any less than the cliched romances they show on TV? Absolutely not and we can't thank Shara Apu enough for this.

In a country where love-marriages are frowned upon and "ghotoks" are your stereotypical Desi Aunties, Shara Apu is a breath of fresh air (read: a sigh of relief). Shara Apu's digital platform, Bolo Kobul is just the perfect solution as it will be able to help a larger group of singles looking for marriage.

Determining whether a marriage will work is as elusive as predicting Dhaka traffic or the weather in Chittagong during monsoon. While there isn't a foolproof formula, a blend of scientific insights and practical wisdom can provide some guidance. So, whether you're nestled in Narayanganj or navigating life in New York, here are some insightful pointers for you:

The Love Equation
First off, love isn't just about the fluttery feelings. Mutual respect, trust, and understanding are essential. Remember, "love isn't just looking at each other; it's looking in the same direction," even if that direction involves navigating through a sea of extended family members and their opinions.

Communication is Key
In this age of technology, with WhatsApp, Messenger, and endless video calls, authentic conversation remains irreplaceable. "The couple that talks together, stays together." Discuss issues openly and work through disagreements. After all, nothing beats the bonding over a cup of cha and some adda.

Shared Responsibilities
Modern marriage thrives on sharing responsibilities. From cooking to cleaning to taking care of the kids, sharing chores strengthens the bond. "A family that cleans together, gleams together." Remember, it’s no longer just "Ghorer kaaj Meyer kaaj"; it’s everyone’s job.

Family and Friends
If you're living abroad, staying connected with family back home is crucial. Regular calls during Eid or Puja, sharing updates and stories, keeps the bond alive. "Close-knit families stay tight even across continents."

Financial Stability
Money matters can make or break a marriage. Plan your expenses, save for the future, and avoid unnecessary debts. A well-thought-out budget can prevent those end-of-the-month squabbles. "Financial peace leads to marital ease."

Common Interests
Engage in activities that you both enjoy. Whether it’s a cooking class, trekking, or just binge-watching a Bangla drama, shared hobbies can bring you closer. "Couples that play together, stay together."

Personal Space
Every relationship needs a balance between togetherness and personal space. Respect each other’s need for some alone time. "A happy marriage is like a long conversation that always seems too short"—but even then, everyone needs a breather.

A Dash of Humor
Life’s too short to take everything seriously. Laugh together, share jokes, and find humor even in mundane situations. "The couple that laughs together lasts together." Laughter truly is the best medicine for a healthy relationship.

A successful marriage boils down to three key ingredients: love, respect, and a lot of patience. Handling the in-laws, managing the household, and nurturing the bond with your partner—all require effort and dedication.

So, is there a formula to determine if a marriage will work? Not really. But with love, mutual respect, and a bit of Bangladeshi resilience, you can certainly stack the odds in your favor. Remember, there’s no magic formula, just a lot of love and some hard work.

In Bangladesh, arranged marriages are common, and families play a significant role in the matchmaking process. Before marriage, it's essential for both parties to disclose certain information to ensure transparency and mutual understanding. Here are some key aspects that individuals should reveal before entering into an arranged marriage in Bangladesh:

Family Background: Share detailed information about your family background, including parents, siblings, and extended family members. This helps in understanding each other's social and cultural context.

Education and Career: Disclose your educational qualifications, career aspirations, and current employment status. This allows both parties to assess compatibility regarding educational and professional goals.

Health Status: Be transparent about your health status, including any medical conditions, allergies, or genetic predispositions. Discussing health-related matters helps in making informed decisions about future family planning and healthcare needs.

Personal (Religious) Values and Beliefs: Share your personal values, religious beliefs, and cultural practices. Discussing these aspects helps in understanding each other's worldview and ensuring alignment in core values.

Past Relationships: If either party has been in previous relationships, it's important to disclose this information respectfully and honestly. This fosters trust and transparency in the relationship.

Expectations from Marriage: Communicate your expectations regarding marriage roles, responsibilities, and lifestyle preferences. Discuss topics such as family dynamics, household chores, and future plans to ensure mutual understanding and compatibility.

Financial Status and Expectations: Share information about your financial status, including income, savings, and financial responsibilities. Discuss expectations regarding financial management, budgeting, and long-term financial goals.

Personal Habits and Preferences: Be open about your personal habits, hobbies, and lifestyle preferences. This includes dietary preferences, leisure activities, and social habits. Understanding each other's preferences helps in building a harmonious relationship.

Future Plans and Ambitions: Discuss your future plans, ambitions, and aspirations. This includes career goals, educational pursuits, and plans for family life. Sharing future aspirations allows both parties to assess compatibility and support each other's goals.

Communication and Conflict Resolution: Discuss communication styles, conflict resolution strategies, and expectations regarding marital communication. Effective communication is key to resolving differences and building a strong marital bond.

Overall, open and honest communication is essential in arranged marriages in Bangladesh. Both parties should approach the matchmaking process with sincerity, respect, and a willingness to compromise, ensuring a solid foundation for a successful and fulfilling marriage.